Merry Christmas Inuyasha
by Raven-2010
Summary: It's Christmas time again & as usual Inuyasha is nagging Sesshoumaru asking what his gift is going to be fed up Sessh gets even with sick panks then the brothers have a prank war, Inu gets a shocking gift & surprise for Christmas" Pranks romance Sessh/Kag


**Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Media do Rated R Language**

Dedicated to **Blood Kagome Rayne **and her sister **Meagan **the exploding pie is Meagan's idea, LOL and special thanks to **Jazzie1122** thank you so much for

that awesome compliment you Pm me I am honored, fic written for Christmas LOL **Pclark Penny and KatiechanXoxoXSesshoukun **thanks everyone and Merry Christmas" **Sessh/Kag**

**Merry Christmas Inuyasha**

**By Raven 2010 and Blood Kagome Rayne Dec 7 2010**

**Questions and pie coffee and a surprise**

It was Christmas time again and the Taisho's were having a big yearly Christmas celebration in the mansion beautiful white Christmas lights and mistletoe lined the railings of the steps leading up to the second floor of the mansion

As usual Inuyasha despite his age and many years of light was still like an excited little kid getting a new toy every Christmas and always tried to find out what his gift was driving Sesshoumaru crazy but this year Sesshoumaru

had plans to mess with his pest of a little brother it was still days before Christmas day and Sesshoumaru was going to play until then

Sesshoumaru had a really hilarious starter prank to start the fun he would just wait for dear little brother to start then he'd spring and dear Sesshy was chomping at the bit with eagerness to pull it and almost prayed to every kami there was to grant him an opening he wouldn't have to wait long hm dinner time was gonna be fun

"Hey Sessh?

"What?

"Hey man nobody's around so tell me what is my gift this time? Inuyasha nagged with wide puppy dog eyes

"Ahhh god's little brother we go this every year" do you not wish to be surprised? That is the point to it being a gift" is it not?

"Come on Sessh have a heart man"

"Why must you know? are you incapable of enjoying a surprise?

"I gotta know man" Inuyasha whined

"Oh fine Pestyyasha at dinner time when you get the box with your favorite thing cream pie in it there will be a note on the lid it will tell you" ok?

"Thanks big bro" Inuyasha said then walked away with a cat that ate the canary grin

If he only knew Sesshoumaru thought dinner was served Kagome Sesshoumaru and the others took their seats, and as Sesshoumaru had promised the pie was on the table poor Sesshoumaru had all he could do to keep a straight face but it would be well worth it in the end

As always Inuyasha could not wait to eat supper first before desert and went straight for the pie he licked his lips in anticipation then opened the box and looked as Sesshoumaru said the note was there he slipped it into his pocket, he picked up his fork and with a child's enthusiasm plunged it into the pie the second he did boom it exploded covering his face with it's cream filling

"Ahhhhh what the fuck is this shit? Inuyasha said then remembered the note reached in and took it out of his pocket opened and read it it said

"_**Santa Clause is watching you you've been a bad boy each year greedily you need to know what your gift is going to be without first waiting to see. Don't be a such pest wait till Christmas day like the rest Santa knows what's best stop being so naughty and start being nice or you will continue to pay the price"**_

"_**Ho ho ho love Santa Claus"**_

"Inuyasha stop playing with your food" Sango teased

"Sesshoumaruuuuu I'm gonna kill you" Inuyasha promised

"Whaaat? Little brother I was minding my own business and eating my meal and you try to drag me into this I am insulted" how can you do this to me? Sesshoumaru said innocently

"No you weren't minding your own business but you'll soon be minding your own grave" Inuyasha yelled

"Inuyasha you are so slow you could not catch a cold" Sesshoumaru taunted then turned and ran with Inuyasha chasing him everyone laughed

"Oh yeah shit head lets test that theory" shall we? Inuyasha snapped

"Now now now Inutasha no talking about what you need to relieve yourself of at the dinner table, even though I know you've been holding it in for a week and are just now wanting to let it out" Sesshoumaru taunted then ran

"I'm so kicking your ass now get your ass back here pencil dick and take it like a man"

"Ooooo sorry honey bunny no can do I'm delicate" Sesshoumaru teased in a girly voice

"Well then Girlymaru I will only delicately bruise you"

The following morning Inuyasha as Sesshoumaru knew he would again hounded the poor Taiyoukai as to what his gift was going to be and big bro had another surprise for him, while everybody sat eating breakfast Sesshoumaru was silently waiting and itching for the next surprise to be sprung

Inuyasha ate breakfast in record time without stopping as he usually did to sip his beloved coffee between bites no this time it was food before coffee, he finally finished eating then picked up his cup and began sipping with the first sip he felt something warm and wet on his shirt looked and saw the cup was dripping slowly

"Oops careless Inuyasha" Kagome teased

"A dribble cup really a dribble cup Sesshoumaru" what the fuck are we in grade school asshole?

"Why little brother I had no idea that you were the hole of the ass eeew nasty very unsanitary indeed you really should wash and frequently oh and do use deodorant" Sesshoumaru wise cracked

"You son of a bitch I'll give you hole of the ass" Inuyasha snapped then jumped up

"Ooooo Yasha honey you know you don't mean it you wuv me soooo much" Sesshoumaru teased in a girly voice

"You prick get back here and fight like a man"

"I will once I have a man to fight with however I refuse to fight with you I will not hit women" Sesshoumaru joked while being chased

"Ooooooo you rotten low down no good sick demented dirty prick" or should I say cunt? Inuyasha insulted

"My my my young lady such filthy language from a beauty such as you" should we wash your mouth out with soap? Sesshoumaru taunted and laughed

"Ooooo how I hate you" Inuyasha retorted then growled

What's my gift gonna be? What's my gift gonna be? Sesshoumaru repeated Inuyasha's question to yank his chain

"Fuck that killing you will be the best Christmas gift I've ever received" Inuyasha retorted

"Killing me would be a gift to you I'm so wounded sniff sniff my widdle heart hurts" Sesshoumaru teased feigning tears

"Stop and stay still ya dick and you will be for real" Inuyasha said

"Now now Princessyasha I cannot do that" you wouldn't want me to take the fun out of it for you would you?

**Lust it's raining a garden surprise pleasure and pain**

"Laugh at and rag on me will ya I hope you fuckers like your treat hehehe" Inuyasha said while he set up his newest prank

Later that day hell bent on revenge Inuyasha waited Sesshoumaru escorted Kagome to the garden after lunch, Sesshoumaru and Kagome stood there facing each other staring into each others eyes longingly they had been together for a month and were deeply in love

Kagome cupped Sesshoumaru's face in her hands and took his sexy full warm lips with hers in a searing kiss, Sesshoumaru held her possessively in his arms the kiss deepened then Sesshoumaru plunged his tongue into her mouth and it soon became heated they were both very aroused

"Oh my god's I can hardly wait" Inuyasha said to himself

Kagome was so hot she was almost ready to have a release and Sesshoumaru was rock hard their breathing was lust filled and heavy Kagome moaned,

things were getting so hot and heavy between the two to the point that they'd soon need relief

That's when it happened it was as though a heavy hard driving cold pouring rain seemingly came out of no where and soaked the young lovers, Inuyasha had moved the lawn sprinklers from the middle of the garden and hid them in the flower beds close to the garden sitting area and rigged them so instead of a slow sprinkle a hard pounding release came out

"Inuyashaaa your dead I know you did this kiss your manhood goodbye" how do you wanna die rat face fast or slow ? Kagome screamed

"Awww poor little wet wench you laughed at me oops careless Inuyasha were your exact words when the cup dribbled coffee down my shirt hehehe" Inuyasha said while laughing

"Nice little brother" Sesshoumaru said and started to chase just when Inuyasha was making head way in his escape

Kagome said "Sit" crash

"Oh fuck I forgot about these damn things" Inuyasha said fingering the beads

Sesshoumaru pounced smiling evilly "hello little brother"

"Well now you remember don't you rat lips" Kagome said

"Playtime little brother" Sesshoumaru greeted as he grabbed Inuyasha by the neck of his shirt"

"Oh crap" said Inuyasha

Later that night after watching a very sexy movie a certain hanyou was now very horny and in need of relief fast so he did the only thing that he could he headed for the privacy of the private bathroom in his bedroom Inuyasha entered opened his pants took his length out and began the process

Inuyasha was doing well with a slow and steady pace it took him awhile but then he began to feel the promise of sweet relief through his nearing release and it had finally arrived, with great anticipation Inuyasha was working at a fevered pace paradise was so close he could almost smell it

Just when he was about to release a police whistle was heard a very startled Inuyasha nearly jumped out of his skin and at the same time he wrenched his length so hard a long single scream that could wake the dead was heard ringing throughout the mansion

"Owww my dick oh shit I think I broke my dick I'll never piss or fuck again" ow ow" why me?

Then Inuyasha heard a foot stomping accompanied by laughing he opened his bathroom door limping stepped out looked and saw Sesshoumaru on the floor laughing himself senseless

"L little brother think of it n now it will be longer then it w was before" Sesshoumaru choked out laughing

"Sesshoumaru you cheap whore I am going to fucking kill you even I wouldn't be so rotten as to scare you while you were beating off" Inuyasha screamed

"But Inuyasha it's longer now girls will love you more"

"I don't give a shit dick head"

"Horny hanyou + bigger dick = more pussy and now that yours has grown more you will get some girls" Sesshoumaru said then was chased by a fuming Inuyasha trying to pound him

"Say that after I turn you into one Sesspussymaru"

"na na na na na na Sisteryasha"

"oh really asshole your name will be Sessdicklessmaru when I'm done with you" Inuyasha taunted

"Needle dick you couldn't handle my dick alone your not strong enough and would need help hehehe" Sesshoumaru taunted

"Listen ass face I just want to cut it off not marry the fucking thing" Inuyasha retorted

**The butcher shop the spider and the surprise bride**

The following day "Sessh you owe me big time after all the shit you've been doing to me" said Inuyasha

"Yeah and I owe you pain for being a pain in my ass" so what's your freakin point?

"My point butt munch is I wanna know and I wanna know now what my gift is gonna be" Inuyasha wise cracked

"Oh alright anything to shut you the hell up but first I need a favor" Sesshoumaru said

"Yeah like what?

"I need you to go to the butcher shop" Sesshoumaru said

"For what? We already have a turkey"

"Yes but we need an extra turkey and a roast beef" have you forgotten we're having more people then usual for Christmas dinner this year? And some of them do not like turkey" Sesshoumaru answered

"Yeah okay fine whatever" which damn butcher shop is it? Asked Inuyasha

"Takayama's on 1150 Tokyo street"

"I'll go now and get it over with but you better tell me what I want to know when I get back or they'll be serving taiyoukai burgers with the other Christmas dinner meat" said a disappointed sounding hanyou

"Yes you big baby I will"

"I mean it Sesshoumaru"

"sucker taiyoukai burgers hah we'll see about that little brother" now should I? yes I should" Sesshoumaru said then went to the phone and called Takayama's butcher shop

"Hello?

"Hi Sato this is Sesshoumaru"

"Hey Sesshoumaru how are you?

"fine, my brother Inuyasha will be there in a little while to pick up the turkey and roast beef, could you do me a favor remember operation spider?

"Yesssss" a very happy sounding Sato said

"It's time"

"Ooo goody gee Sesshoumaru I thought we were never going to get to use that one and I promise I'll make it really good"

"Good man Sato and thank you have fun"

"Who me now Sessh would I do such a thing? Sato teased

"Yes you would and if you did not I'd have to kill you" Sesshoumaru teased

"Tell you what Sessh I'll will even save you the video of it from the security camera"

"Ooooo I love it Sato you naughty boy" Sesshoumaru joked

"Always you know it, gotta go Inuyasha just got here"

"Okay thanks Sato"

Inuyasha entered the shop "hey Sato how are you? Inuyasha asked

"Great" and you?

"Inuyasha I've got the turkey and roast beef already for you just give me a sec while I get some paper to wrap the turkey in"

"Okay Sato"

Sato came back out with the paper and picked up the turkey _**"ahhhhh" **_what the hell is that? I gotta be seeing things" Sato screamed

"What's wrong Sato? Asked a startled hanyou

"That over there I hate those things"

Inuyasha looked there on the opposite end of the counter was a huge thick hairy spider Sato's eyes were wide as saucers, Inuyasha grabbed the rolled up a news paper that he saw laying there and quickly killed it then immediately found himself covered in spider blood and guts

Sato slipped and the 35 pound turkey he was holding went flying the open end landing on Inuyasha's head then slid down covering Inuyasha's entire head down to his wide shoulders, Inuyasha mumbled something that Sato could not make out but figured it was curse words

Inuyasha got the turkey off his head with one hand wiped his face "fan fucking tabulous" Inuyasha wise cracked

"Inuyasha are you alright? Sato asked

"Yeah just fucking peachy" Inuyasha replied "I'll be deliriously happy especially after I kill a certain taiyoukai" Inuyasha thought

"Inuyasha your welcome to use the bathroom in my office to clean up in"

"Thanks Sato" Inuyasha replied went to the bathroom and cleaned up 15 minutes later Inuyasha left with the meat

Sato called Sesshoumaru "Sesshoumaru it was fun he left a few minutes ago"

"Hm how did he take it"

"The usual swore but was somewhat calm" Sato answered

"Sessh are you near your computer?

"Yes I'm sitting at my desk right now" why?

"Wait till you see it I'm uploading something to your computer right now" Sato told him

Sesshoumaru waited then saw the upload from Sato's security camera start to play what happened to Inuyasha with the spider and turkey, Sesshoumaru started laughing so hard he fell off of his office chair and landed flat on his ass

"Sessh are you alright?

"Y yes Sato but I I think that I am going to die th this is to hilarious" Sesshoumaru got out between laughs

"You think you've got it bad try standing there while it's happening trying to keep a straight face and not bust out laughing I thought I was gonna pee my pants" Sato told him

"And I see you used one of you classics and favorites the turkey" Sesshoumaru commented

"Yeah I couldn't resist plus it added to the hilarity, the poor bastard that was a fake spider I used filled with demon roach innards and a blood bomb it looked and smelled real because I laced them with spider essence he'll never know it was fake I love real spiders and didn't want to kill a real one for a prank"

"Sato you are a sick man and that is why you are such a good friend"

While Inuyasha drove home he was doing triple time scheming oh how badly he wanted to fix get revenge on aggravate and humiliate Sesshoumaru, he pondered the many various rotten things that he could do to get even then an idea popped into his head and an evil smile crossed his lips

Inuyasha retuned home Sesshoumaru was acting and looking innocent "here is your damn turkey I'll take the roast beef to the kitchen" Inuyasha said in a hard

Sesshoumaru took the turkey and Inuyasha headed to the kitchen with the roast beef and Sesshoumaru was gloating over the success of the spider bomb gag, Sesshoumaru began walking toward the kitchen just when he was half way there boom the turkey in his hands exploded covering him and his favorite white outfit with red dye and chicken innards

"_**Inuyashaaaaaaa **_I am going to fucking kill you you little bastard"

"Awww Sesshy wesshy did the turky wurky go boom" Inuyasha taunted in a girly voice

"Inuyasha you little bitch I will show you boom"

"Ooooo catch me if you can lover man" Inuyasha wise cracked

"Inuyasha you pussy get back here" Sesshoumaru screamed as he chased Inuyasha out through the back door in the kitchen

"Lords Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha if you two wreck my kitchen I will kill both of you slowly" said Amaya the Inu youkai cook

Kagome Kagura and Sango were sitting at the table in the kitchen drinking their morning coffee and talking to their buddy Amaya "their at it again I see" Kagome said

"Yes ladies every year at Christmas time it's the annual Taisho brothers prank fest and battle, Inuyasha hounds Sesshoumaru as to what his gift is going to be Sesshoumaru gets tired of being nagged then the war begins" Amaya told them

"Hey girls I heard Sessh in his office a little while ago laughing unusually hard so hard he fell off his chair" Kagura told them

"Shall we ladies? Said Sango

Amaya Kagome Kagura and Sango all made a bee line for Sesshoumaru's office "I know Sessh's password" said Kagome

Kagome turned Sesshoumaru's computer entered the password then she saw the new upload listed Kagome clicked on it, the upload from Takayama's butcher shop started to play after watching the turkey and spider event the women swiftly fell on their asses and died laughing

Kagome turned the computer off and they all left Sesshoumaru's office "well I thought the years of pranking before this were bad but this year is the worst in history" said Amaya

"Do you think they've killed each other yet? Sango said

"I don't know but I'm sure their trying hard to" Kagura replied

"You know if we got them on tape with their various escapades then sent it in to America's funniest home videos we'd probably win first prize and money to" Amaya said

"Yeah this shit is so funny we could have our TV series and we could call it

The Taisho Brothers we'd make a ton of money" Kagome said

"I better make some snacks once those two are done they'll be hungry as hell" said amaya

"The day after ok Sesshoumaru after that shit you did to me you owe me big time"

"Yeah yeah yeah whatever" Sesshoumaru said

"I'm serious now tell me what my gift is?

Sesshoumaru was fed up and had enough so he was going to play a big sick prank using his demonic speed Sesshoumaru picked Inuyasha up bolted to another room grabbed a sleeping potion and poured it down Inuyasha's throat in seconds Inuyasha was in a deep blissful sleep

Sesshoumaru then packed him in a shipping crate and shipped him to a special location where a good friend who was in on the gag and was helping Sesshoumaru pull the ultimate rotten prank, when Inuyasha woke up he'd be

In a new place and get a heart stopping surprise and when he found out it was a joke he'd want to kill Sesshoumaru for sure

"Have fun little brother" said Sesshoumaru

5 hours later Inuyasha woke up on a bed still half asleep he felt around and on the other side he felt a warm body he felt a little more and found out it was a female he breathed a sigh of relief then heard

"Mmm hello to you to" want more do you? She said

"Hah? what? What are you doing in my room? The confused hanyou asked

"Sorry lover but your in my I mean our room"

"What do you mean our room? I have my own and last time I checked I wasn't sharing it with anyone" he replied

"What you don't remember? She said

"Remember what?

"This" she said and turned on the light before she could finish

"Kagura you what the hell is going on? where am I? and what do you mean do I remember? Inuyasha questioned

"This" she said

Kagura then flashed the diamond engagement and gold wedding band rings on her left finger then pointed to his finger and called his attention to the wedding band on his left ring finger

"Hah? Nooooooo no fucking way it can't be"

"Well we were at your mansion we drank got really drunk you asked me to marry you which shocked the hell out of me by the way, then you dragged me off got the rings we went to a justice of the peace and were married right away" Kagura told him

"Holy shit" why the fuck can't I remember all that? Inuyasha replied

"Well you did drink pretty hard and were really drunk"

"Okay so where the hell are we? He asked

"The next state over from where your family's mansion is"

"Whaaaaaaat? No way" are you shitting me? Inuyasha said

"Well now that that is all settled lover do you want to? You know go again? You were amazing and I would love more" Kagura said

"Ah um I um" what? I ah oh shit" Inuyasha said jumped up dressed fast and ran for dear life

"Hubby come back don't be that way come on baby" Kagura said then chased him all over the house

"Eeeeeeeeee" Inuyasha shrieked

"Aw baby you didn't say that when you humped my brains out over and over and we are married" Kagura reminded

While a frazzled Inuyasha continued to run he started to remember "wait wait wait stop right there" Inuyasha said

"What honey? Why?

"I remember everything now and the last thing was that prick Sesshoumaru picking me up bolting to another room then something going down my throat and everything went black, son of a bitch I'm gonna fucking kill the bastard" said Inuyasha then he was gone he took one of Kagura's cars and headed home bent on revenge

Kagura picked up her phone and dialed it rang "hello?

"Sessh he figured it out took one of my cars and is on the way back home now but that sure was fun thanks Sessh tell Kag's I said hi" Kagura told him

"Okay and thank you Kagura"

"Anytime Sessh"

"Kagome?

"Yes?

"Kagura says hi and that Inuyasha is on to it and on the way back now" Sesshoumaru said

"Ohhhhh shit"

"Yes indeed"

"Oh well Sesshy a good thing cannot last forever"

"True but life with you will"

"Why Sesshoumaru you big softie your such a romantic"

"Yes but if you tell anybody else I'm a softie I will hunt you down like the dog I am and bite you" he said while holding her and nipping her neck

"So show me what a dog you are and bite me already" Kagome teased

"Hm a virgin temptress I do not want to take you to soon but I am very hungry have a craving for need and will taste something" Sesshoumaru said licked his lips and proceeded to chase his miko

**Payback the prank battle continues and Sesshoumaru's new love**

Inuyasha had been home for two days without incident he was quiet and seemed as though he didn't care about the bride prank or getting revenge for it

"Hay Sesshoumaru lets call a truce I'm real tired of this pranking one another shit" Inuyasha said

"Agreed we are rather old for such childish behavior"

"Great" Inuyasha said and they shook hands

About an hour later everyone took their places at the table for breakfast Sesshoumaru pulled Kagome's chair out for her she thanked him and took her seat, then Sesshoumaru sat and a loud ear splitting thunderous fart was heard and a stench that could rival skunks reeked throughout the room in fact it smelled like rotting meat mixed with skunk spray

Inuyasha was straining to keep a straight face and holding his breath to keep from bursting out laughing while Sesshoumaru stared at him so intensely it burned holes straight through to the back of his head, while everyone covered their noses and coughed Sesshoumaru stood and found the whoopee cushion that Inuyasha had placed on the middle of his chair

That did it being more then Inuyasha could take he could hold back no longer he fell backward chair and all hit the floor he then proceeded to howl in fits of laughter, without a word and in deadly silence Sesshoumaru leapt over the table grabbed Inuyasha by the nape of his neck and hauled him out of the dining room

"Oh come on Sessh it was only a joke" you wouldn't hold a grudge now would you? said Inuyasha

Sesshoumaru had a really nice treat for the poor unfortunate hanyou he went to the gardeners shed lifted up the lid on a dumpster like container filled with the gardeners fertilizer mix, Sesshoumaru dropped a pleading for mercy Inuyasha in and slammed the lid down fast Sesshoumaru sat on it for a few seconds trapping Inuyasha within then let him out he smelled lovely

"Sesshoumaruuuuu you stinking shitty no good low life dirty dog" what the fuck's wrong with you? What are you constipated? Is that why your so bitchy? This is going to far dick head"

"Little brother I believe it is you who is the dirty dog not I, you really need to bathe how you have allowed yourself to fall into such a state is beyond me" Sesshoumaru taunted while running from an enraged hanyou

Sesshoumaru ran through the garden toward the house in his attempt to escape but he did enjoy the chase, the second they neared the house Inuyasha was greeted with water from the garden hose soaking him followed by a big bucket of very soapy and perfumed water

"_**Ooooo little brother finally took a bath do da do da he washed off a weeks worth of filth do da day he'll smell good all day he'll smell good all night now we won't all have to run in fright" **_Sesshoumaru sang mockingly

"Get back here Sesspussymaru you'll be singing soprano when I'm finished with you" here Rovermaru come to pappa? I just wanna rearrange your fucking face ya wuss" Inuyasha wise cracked

"Oh Sissyyasha oh Sissyyasha he like to talk shit oh Sissyyasha he never know when to quit and when the time comes he don't do nothing with it" Sesshoumaru teased with a fake accent

"Yo ho ho Sessfucklessmru is what they will call you after you oops in an accident lose your bat and two balls it's true" Inuyasha wise cracked

"Awww lil sis I feel the love" Sesshoumaru said with his hand over his heart

"Stop and hold still I'll show ya lots of love you rat fink traitor"

"now now you wouldn't want me to make it to easy on you" would you? Sesshoumaru taunted

Inuyasha chased Sesshoumaru for a long time till the two of them were panting exhausted and couldn't move anymore, the others watched with great amusement two full grown Inu's carrying on like children made it even funnier

Inuyasha had yet another sick prank in mind for Sesshoumaru only this was the mother of all pranks as rotten as or worse then Sesshoumaru's wife prank on him, Kagome wasn't coming until the next morning so it was perfect Inuyasha put sleeping liquid in Sesshoumaru's wine in seconds Sesshoumaru was in a deep sleep

Inuyasha put Sesshoumaru over his shoulder and carried him up to his room opened the door lay him on his bed stripped him and left him wearing nothing but his underwear, Inuyasha then placed his sleeping brother on one side of the bed laying on his side then nicely pulled the bed covers over him and left the next morning would be fun

Inuyasha was prepared for the possibility of sudden death the next morning but couldn't care less because he had already decided that it was worth the risk, Inuyasha eagerly went to the phone to call his cohort in this caper after he had calmed down enough and stopped laughing

"Hello?

"yeah it's Inuyasha"

"hey babe are we ready?

"Hell yeah be here around 12:30 am everyone will be in bed I'll meet you in front" Inuyasha said

"Okay will do"

"That bastard's in for a real treat" Inuyasha said to himself

Next morning came and Inuyasha had barley slept and waited with great anticipation he was completely on edge, Sesshoumaru woke up still half asleep he felt a warm body next to him at first he'd forgotten that Kagome hadn't spent the night this time

Sesshoumaru felt the other half of the bed next to him then got a knot in his gut, however curiosity soon overwhelmed him so he reached over and turned on the lamp that sat on his nightstand then looked at his bed partner his golden eyes went wide in horror

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh" what the fuck? Inuyashaaaaaaa" Sesshoumaru bellowed

And Kagome had only returned just a few moments before Sesshoumaru screamed she looked puzzled and was very curious as to what the hell was going on, but when she heard what came next and the commotion she knew, and for the first time in centuries Jaken fell on his little green ass rolling in fits of laughter

"Eeeeeeeeeee" honey my ears must you scream so loud?

"Jakotsu remove yourself away from my person and from my bed before I gut you you have two seconds" Sesshoumaru bellowed

"Y yes dear" Jakotsu stammered

"you are never to call me by such endearments ever or I will kill you" is that understood? I love women and do not play with boys"

"Y yes lor lord Sesshoumaru" Jakotsu stammered as he ran

Sesshoumaru quickly yanked the sheets and bedspread off his bed then the pillow cases off of his pillows and dressed intent on the murder of a certain hanyou. Using his demonic speed Sesshoumaru leapt over the second floor railing and was down on the first floor in the blink of an eye

Before Inuyasha knew what the hell had hit him he found himself along with Sesshoumaru's bed clothes and something extra in the washing machine sharing a wash cycle, through the glass on the door Sesshoumaru saw Inuyasha giving him the finger and at the same time

"_**A washing we will go a washing we will go we'll soon have a nice clean hanyou and laundry don't you know" **_Sesshoumaru said smiling evilly

The washing cycle ended and the machine stopped Sesshoumaru opened the door took out his laundry out then Inuyasha Sesshoumaru put his things in the dryer, Inuyasha stood there on wobbly legs barely able to stand straight and felt as if he were drunk after going through the spin cycle

"Se Sesshoumaru I I am goin going to ki Kill youuu" Inuyasha drunkenly stammered yes Sesshoumaru had poured a bottle of sake in the wash water before he started the wash cycle "I love you big bro" Inuyasha said

Sesshoumaru looked at Kagome "I shall return after I bathe my miko"

Sesshoumaru went to his private bathroom stripped and took a shower after sleeping with his unwelcome guest he felt the need to scrub himself, after he finished he put on fresh clothes then put the clothes he had been wearing in the washing machine

"Oh Miko of mine?

"yes Sessexymaru?

Before Kagome had chance to so much as blink Sesshoumaru was kissing her harder deeper and more passionately then usual after he kissed her breathless he pulled back and looked deep into her chocolate eyes

"thank kami for women your staying with me tonight" Sesshoumaru stated plainly

"Yes Sesshy" a smiling moon eyed Kagome replied

Poor Jaken could not stand and was breathless from all his laughing "I'm dying please don't make me laugh anymore" Jaken pleaded

"Miroku can you believe Inuyasha puts himself through all this just to try and find out what his gift is going to be? Sango asked

"Sango my love it is the same every year only this year is worse"

**Christmas morning surprises**

Sesshoumaru was not done with Inuyasha yet that night while Inuyasha slept Sesshoumaru slipped into his room and left him a nice warm surprise the next morning was going to be a real scream, Christmas morning Inuyasha woke up he felt something strange looked then screamed an unholy scream waking all in the house

"Ahhhhhhh" what the hell? Shit I'm wet holy crap I'm bleeding to" Inuyasha ran from his room screaming wearing nothing but his underwear

Sesshoumaru nonchalantly strolled out of his room and eyed the panicking hanyou up and down

"Excuse me ladies" would one of you happen to have a kotex pad or tampon? It seems as though Little brother has started his first menstrual cycle and peed himself as well" Sesshoumaru taunted

"fuck you bastard I have a dick you fucktard not a snatch boys don't have periods dumb ass I'm bleeding from something else genius" Inuyasha snapped then sniffed

"What little brother?

"You and Kagome mated this morning"

"Yes just after midnight after your little Jakotsu stunt I decided not to wait like I was going to" was Sesshoumaru's reply

"Thanks Yasha" Kagome said and held Sesshoumaru's hand tightly

Then Inuyasha calmed enough and caught a scent it wasn't blood or pee on him, Sesshoumaru had wet his crotch during the night with water and a red dye "you low life dirty bitch Sesshoumaruuu" Inuyasha screamed

Not caring anymore who saw or thought what Inuyasha let his primitive Inu side take over when Sesshoumaru turned to run Inuyasha lunged fangs bared and bit Sesshoumaru right on the cheek of his ass and hung on

"Yeeeeeeeow you are fucking dead Shittyyasha" Sesshoumaru screamed Inuyasha only growled

"Merry Christmas everybody" Kagome said

"Grow up you two" Rin and Shippou said in unison

"Welcome to the family Kagome" Rin greeted

"Thanks sweetie" said Kagome

Revenge driven Sesshoumaru turned fangs elongated and bit Inuyasha's butt and hung on the two clung in a dog bites dog hold and neither one was letting go while both growled, poor Jaken finally passed out from laughing to hard

"Alright ye two mutts enough break it up" Kaede said then hit them with a bucket of cold water "Sesshoumaru this is thy honeymoon and mated day enjoy it in peace Inuyasha ye went to far with your Jakotsu joke" she scolded

"But he started the whole thing" Inuyasha whined

"I care not this is Christmas day and ye will behave or I will lock ye in a cage, and Sesshoumaru go spend time with ye mate"

"Yes mam" Inuyasha said his cute little ears pinned back against his head

"Thank you Keade" Sesshoumaru replied

"As for ye Inuyasha go bathe and make yourself presentable then come join us and share in opening the Christmas gifts with us" Keade told him

"Oh goody giftys" Inuyasha joked rubbing his hands together with a big smile

"Inuyasha get going ye need to bathe" Keade said then whacked him gently across his butt with a towel

"Alright hag I'm going already" he teased

Keade went down stairs "Sesshoumaru are ye ready?

"Hell yeah"

"What? What are you two up to? Asked Kagome

"That's what we want to know" the others added

"Oh ye will see soon enough" Keade told them

"Pretty please? Kagome Sango and Miroku pleaded

"Ye big babies" Keade teased

"I'll give up lechery forever if you do" Miroku promised

"Hah yeah right" the others replied and cracked up

"Liar" said Sango

"I will tell you since it is near time for it" Sesshoumaru said then told them

**Merry Christmas Inuyasha**

Inuyasha finished his shower dried off and dressed in a nice sky blue shirt and pants and he did look sexy even in his casual clothes the blue really made his beautiful golden eyes and silver hair stand out

"Ye look so handsome Inuyasha" Kaede greeted while she looked up at the top of the stairs

Just as Inuyasha began to descend the stairs the doorbell rang "I will get it" Sesshoumaru said

Sesshoumaru opened the door two delivery men stood on either side of a huge box one handed Sesshoumaru a clip board and he signed it the men then brought the box in and gently set it down onto the middle of the living room floor Inuyasha's eyes had a dreamy look

Just as the men were about to leave one turned around "Oh before I forget here you will need this" he said then handed Sesshoumaru a remote control

"What is it? What is it? What is it? Is it a 50 inch LCD flat screen TV for me? Inuyasha asked

"Come down here and find out little brother" Sesshoumaru stated

"Okay kill joy" Inuyasha replied then leapt down to the first floor" alright Sessh what gives?

"Take this then press the start button" Sesshoumaru instructed while handing Inuyasha the remote control

Inuyasha eagerly took the remote aimed it at the box pressed the start button and waited with curious eyes the lid lifted the curious hanyou's eyes quickly widened, when the lid was all the way up his face was covered with shock then lit with a smile and at the same time he gasped

"Holy crap for me" Inuyasha said

"Well it ain't for us" Sango wise cracked

The front wall of the box opened and went down onto the floor like a ramp there stood then stepped out Ayame wearing nothing but a silver white sexy bra top with a short matching skirt and a big seductive smile

"Gulp" for me? A girl? You got me a girl for Christmas? Woo hoo Sessh you've got to be the best brother in all the world thanks this is the best gift I've ever gotten nothing will ever top it"

"Your welcome little brother" now wasn't this gift worth waiting for?

"I love you big bro" excited Inuyasha said

Without another word Inuyasha gently picked Ayame up put her over his shoulder and took off up the stairs toward his room while the others all said Merry Christmas Inuyasha to his retreating form

"Inuyasha has always desired the beautiful ookami but was to chicken to tell her I checked and found out that she also desired him but thought he was not interested, when I told her he was then explained my idea to her and asked if she'd go along with it she was more then willing to go along with my plan and this was one good way to get them together" Sesshoumaru explained

"My giant sexy cupid" Kagome teased hugging Sesshoumaru

"Hm I shall show you cupid later mate" Sesshoumaru promised while winking with a pervy look and smile, Miroku nodded with a big grin as if to say welcome to the lechers club

"Oh great now we have two pervs" Kagome said

"Yesss you do" both Sesshoumaru and Miroku answered

Ayame and Inuyasha weren't seen for the rest of the day till dinner when they returned as a mated pair and heard

"_**Here comes the bride and groom he finally decided to leave his room he's still walking straight so he didn't die trying to keep up with his mate, he will cuddle and spoon on his honeymoon now he won't be so twitchy cuz she cured his little itchy Inuyashy got some coochy" **_Sesshoumaru teased

"Oh come on Sessh" aren't we to old for this shit? A beet red Inuyasha said

"Little brother we are never going to be to old for this shit besides it is to much fun" Sesshoumaru replied

"Each Christmas to come after this will be even more special then before"

Said Keade

"How so? Inuyasha asked

"Because for both ye and Sesshoumaru it is the day ye two became mated to your mates" answered Keade

"You know she is right it will be a combination both Christmas and our anniversary's at the same time" Kagome said

"Ooooo and double the giftys and Inuyasha next Christmas don't even think about hounding me about what your gift is going to be because unlike Sesshoumaru I will kill you" Ayame teased

"Sister in law I nearly did kill him" Sesshoumaru said smiling evilly

"Gulp damn woman we ain't been mates even 24 hours yet and already your making with the death threats" Said Inuyasha

"Yesss and I would not do it if I didn't care" said Ayame

"Yes my little wolfette" want me to show you killing later? Inuyasha joked

Inuyasha turned into an Inu ookami powers he gained from his mating with Ayame then gave her a playful growl "Oh crap I forgot he could do that now" Ayame said

Ayame turned into her wolf form only now she looked like an Inu ookami with silver white fur, Inuyasha gave another playful growl she took off with Inuyasha hot on her heels

"Hm little brothers first transformation horny bastard" said Sesshoumaru smiling evilly

"Ahhh Sesshoumaru I think you might become an uncle sooner then expected" Miroku commented

"Oh great little Inuyasha's running around as long as they don't hound me what their gifts are going to be like Inuyasha, hm but I could train them not to then I can teach them to help me against little brother" Sesshoumaru said with a wicked grin

"Sesshoumaru your evil and scheme like a female god's I am so proud of you" Kagome teased

"Me to" Sango Kaede and Amaya added


End file.
